June 12, 2019
June 12, 2019
Categories

If You Give a Mom a Cookie …

(With a thankful nod to Laura Numeroff.) If you give a mom a cookie, she will sit in a chair and try to eat it in peace. As soon as she sits, she will look in the kitchen and see Ravenous Teen left the milk on the counter. Again. So she sets her cookie on the table and goes to the kitchen … Where for the next ten minutes she wipes counters, empties dishwasher, and puts dinner in the crock pot. And, yes, gets herself a glass of milk. With a shot of Bailey’s. The scent of Bailey’s inexplicably reminds her that she left of […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
May 12, 2018
May 12, 2018
Categories

Adoption, 10 Years Later: Letter to My New Mom Self

This year Christopher turns 18, and is reconnecting with some of his birth family, so it seems like the right time to get a little retrospective. (If that’s the right word.) Pour yourself a cup of tea and meander with me to 2015. Next weekend we celebrate a decade of “official” family life. Ten years since the adoptions were finalized and the kids were officially welcomed into the family . . . and baptized into God’s. We plan to go to Cedar Point with their godparents, to celebrate. This weekend, though, as Sarah and I sit in the living room — her painting designs on her […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
December 27, 2017
December 27, 2017
Categories

Tips for Caring for Parent with Dementia

If you give Mom a cookie … She’ll want another one to go with it. Some days, that’s her idea of a balanced diet: one cookie in each hand. Not always, though. Most days she’s pretty careful to eat and drink like someone with a history of diabetes. But some days, dementia wins and the child in her comes out to play. I’ve decided that caregiving for someone with dementia is a lot like parenting a toddler. Some differences, of course … I would always want to treat her like the adult she is, and give her as much say in the details of her […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
October 9, 2017
October 9, 2017
Categories

15 Years Later: My Daughter, Even When…

Today over at Extraordinary Moms Network I posted a little ditty that almost perfectly sums up where I am as a parent today. Go ahead and have a look … I’ll wait. She’s fifteen now. Fifteen going on thirty. And I swear to you, there are days when we look at each other and wonder, How on earth am I supposed to live with THIS for three more years? At least. Best case scenario. If you ask her, she drew the short straw in the Mother Lottery. Her model yells (or yells back). Drinks (a glass of wine at LEAST twice a week, usually while […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
April 26, 2017
April 26, 2017
Categories

The Circular Mercy of God

An old Portuguese proverb (sometimes attributed to Thomas Merton), reminds us that “God writes straight with crooked lines.” While God cannot be accused of pointless meandering or false steps — his ways are perfect, after all — the same cannot be said of us. And because he has given us free will, God sometimes allows us to take detours, taking us in circular routes to accomplish his purposes in our lives. By way of example, I was twelve when I got my first organist gig at this little country church, Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Hamburg, NJ. It was my first taste of liturgy, and the people […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
November 13, 2016
November 13, 2016
Categories

Filling up the “Love Banks”

Do you have a child who has sensory issues or who for other reasons does not always respond positively to hugs or other normal signs of parental affection? This is very common in foster and adoptive families as well. At the “Refresh” conference in Chicago this weekend, I shared one idea that has worked well for us — we call it “Filling up the Love Banks.” It allows the child to communicate the kind of touch (and the duration) he or she needs to the parent in a way that respects boundaries and makes the child feel safe and loved. When I sense that Sarah (or […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
August 16, 2016
August 16, 2016
Categories

How Stubborn Is She?

Today a new phrase has been added to the Saxton family lexicon: “As stubborn as a Chiweenie in the rain.” You would think that a reasonably intelligent, generously proportioned middle-aged woman would be able to persuade a twelve pound ball of trembling dogflesh (at least five of those pounds water, from having refused to go out to pee the previous night for fear of rain AND dark) to go outside long enough to tinkle. You would be wrong. You can almost hear the soundtrack, courtesy of Dr. Seuss: “I will not tinkle in the rain. I will not tinkle near that drain. Won’t tinkle here […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
July 20, 2016
July 20, 2016
Categories

Do Adoptive Parents Love Like Bio Parents?

A recent comment from a reader caused me to reflect upon this question at the Extraordinary Moms Network. Sorry, for some reason I can’t get this link to work properly: https://extraordinarymomsnetwork.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/do-adoptive-parents-love-like-bio-parents/ First, let me short-circuit any alarm that this question might raise, perhaps particularly in the minds of newly (or aspiring) adoptive parents. I love my kids – and I do think of them as “my” kids, even on the worst days. I know my husband feels the same way. We would do anything for them, even take an extra turn taking out the trash or cleaning up the dishes when we just can’t summon […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
April 24, 2015
April 24, 2015
Categories

Dealing with Writer’s Block

“The other day on Facebook, on of my friends (*ahem, Lisa Hendey*) suggested I recommend some tips for overcoming writer’s block. Being a Catholic editor and all, my first thought was to swipe the advice of St. Benedict: “Ora et labora” (pray and work). Then I thought I’d do what I SAID I’d be doing here, which is to open it up to the wisdom of other writers. With that in mind, I’d like to connect you with this article from “Fire Your Mentor: Top 15 Tips to Overcome Writer’s Block.” “Pressure, fear, stress, trauma, anxiety, the beginning or ending of a particular project….the list […]
Do you like it?0
Read more
1...34567...54