June 1, 2021
June 1, 2021
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When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Maybe it’s just that time of life: Death has tapped me on the shoulder three times in the past two weeks. Twice our family has driven at least eight hours over the course of a weekend to pay our respects, all the while talking about why a God who loves us would allow a horrible thing like Death to enter the world. What I’ve come to realize is that dying is not the worst thing that can happen. Or should I say, “becoming dead.” Dying can actually be painful and scary as much for the loved ones looking on as for the one who is […]
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April 26, 2017
April 26, 2017
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The Circular Mercy of God

An old Portuguese proverb (sometimes attributed to Thomas Merton), reminds us that “God writes straight with crooked lines.” While God cannot be accused of pointless meandering or false steps — his ways are perfect, after all — the same cannot be said of us. And because he has given us free will, God sometimes allows us to take detours, taking us in circular routes to accomplish his purposes in our lives. By way of example, I was twelve when I got my first organist gig at this little country church, Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Hamburg, NJ. It was my first taste of liturgy, and the people […]
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November 24, 2012
November 24, 2012
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“Room for One More”: Tale of an Unlikely Thanksgiving

This year I was determined to have a table full for Thanksgiving. With Christopher away, the prospect of cooking a turkey dinner for three was . . . unthinkable. Long story short, we had two special families join us, families that have extended themselves to us in friendship in a special way this year, journeying beside us for what has been the bumpiest mile of the journey of our lives. Thank God we are getting through it . . . together. Not just us, of course. In reality, we have been constantly surrounded by “family of our own choosing.”  Katy and Todd, Christopher’s godparents; Laura […]
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September 7, 2012
September 7, 2012
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Adopting Older Teens: Should You Consider It?

Today I came across Nissa Gadbois’ new blog “At Home with the Gadbois Family.” They are attempting to raise $30,000 in order to bring home three teens from Ukraine. (If you would like to help, a link is on her site to the Paypal account set up for this purpose.) I admire Nissa’s passion and resolve on behalf of these kids who, without her help, are very likely to “age out” of the institutional care they currently receive. It’s heartbreaking to even contemplate. I’ve come to believe that God puts a custom-designed hole in the heart of every adoptive mother, that only the children HE […]
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January 22, 2012
January 22, 2012
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A Healing Moment at Mass

At St. Joseph’s in Downingtown PA, those who show up five minutes late (or even, some Sundays, right on time) may not get a seat. When I was teaching CCD, this wasn’t really a problem; there was always plenty of time between class and Mass to install ourselves in our favorite pew. Then, a few weeks ago, a shadow fell over our house. We have been deliberately vague on the details with people; suffice it to say that when we adopted our children from foster care, we never imagined just how far-reaching the past might be. At the advice of our pastor and other experts, we made a plan […]
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May 1, 2011
May 1, 2011
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A Severe Kind of Mercy

As I contemplated writing tonight’s post, I read that Moammar Gaddafi’s youngest son and three grandchildren were killed in a NATO missile strike. The general survived, the report continued. On the other hand … how does anyone survive a loss of that magnitude?   Ordinarily the news might not have made such an impression on me. However, I recently took my children to see their birthparents, who had not seen any of their four kids in seven years.  It was supposed to be another seven years before Chris was supposed to see them, but Christopher’s birthdad had been having heart trouble. Craig and I talked about it off and […]
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January 25, 2011
January 25, 2011
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The March: Now What?

Today at AnnArbor.com, I posted an article that was especially hard to write.  I actually drafted “The Face I Never Knew” (AnnArbor.com retitled it), anticipating the annual “March for Life” in Washington that commemorates the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.  This 1973 Supreme Court decision legalized the murder of over 52 million pre-born children.  As part of my thesis on adoption, I’m reading a book right now called When Children Became People: The Birth of Childhood in Early Christianity by O.M. Bakke.  This book deals extensively with the first century (AD) Roman practice of “exposio,” by which parents were legally able to dispose of their children […]
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January 19, 2011
January 19, 2011
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Mother Antonia Brenner: A Story of Redemptive Love

In the next few days, I will be posting a review of a remarkable documentary entitled “La Mama” by Jody Hammond on the life of Mother Antonia.  Mother Antonia Brenner is the founder of “Servants of the Eleventh Hour,” an order for mature women (most ages 45-65) who serve the impoverished and imprisoned in Tijuana, Mexico and parts of the U.S. One aspect that I did not address — and felt I should do so — is the fact that Mother Antonia was twice divorced prior to taking the habit. I have not yet read the biography of her life, and don’t know whether one or […]
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January 9, 2011
January 9, 2011
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Paddling in Shallow Waters: The Invigorating Power of Forgiveness

A few weeks ago as I contemplated my New Year’s resolutions, I had an idea: I would make a list of twelve people with whom I have less-than-satisfying relationships. You know, something said or done along the way created hard feelings (on my part or theirs, or both). How would it be, I wondered, if invited each of these people to spend ten minutes — TEN, mind you — saying anything that they wanted to say to me. I would not comment, retaliate, or defend myself in any way. At the end of that ten minutes, I would offer a simple, heart-felt apology and thank […]
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