July 23, 2019
July 23, 2019
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Dancing with a Porcupine: Essential Reading for Foster and Adoptive Parents

If you are even thinking of becoming a foster parent, you need to read this book. Like many people who decide to become foster parents, Jennie Owens and her husband, Lynn, were confident that love would conquer all. The trauma. The anger. The pain and loss experienced by every member of the family. And like many such couples, they never knew what hit them. The isolation. The bone-chilling fatigue. The mental strain. Most of all, the unrelenting inner refraing that keeps on and on: Am-I-going-crazy? I wish I had had this book fifteen years ago, when I needed to have someone explain to me why self-care […]
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November 24, 2012
November 24, 2012
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“Room for One More”: Tale of an Unlikely Thanksgiving

This year I was determined to have a table full for Thanksgiving. With Christopher away, the prospect of cooking a turkey dinner for three was . . . unthinkable. Long story short, we had two special families join us, families that have extended themselves to us in friendship in a special way this year, journeying beside us for what has been the bumpiest mile of the journey of our lives. Thank God we are getting through it . . . together. Not just us, of course. In reality, we have been constantly surrounded by “family of our own choosing.”  Katy and Todd, Christopher’s godparents; Laura […]
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September 26, 2012
September 26, 2012
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Healing Childhood Trauma

This week on CatholicMom.com, my column deals with the signs parents should watch for in their children that may indicate they are experiencing trauma and need professional help. The source of the trauma varies from child to child and from family to family: divorce, death, separation, neglect, abuse, financial stress, the list goes on. For children touched by adoption or foster care, unresolved trauma from the circumstances that caused them to be separated from their birth families can affect them into adulthood, even if they are loved and supported by their new families. Love, in and of itself, does not always “conquer all.” What I […]
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June 27, 2009
June 27, 2009
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#CNMC09: Answering the Call

Today in the keynote address, Father Dwyer talked about responding to God’s call to bring the Gospel to others, using whatever gifts we may have at our disposal. “You may only have 10 subscribers, but you are meeting the needs of those ten people in ways no bishop or priest ever can.” It’s not about entertainment, not about drawing the high ratings, not “singing to the choir.” It’s about reaching people with real needs, who may never dark the door of a church but who know in their brokenness that they need … something. Something more. Something that draws us together, supporting one another and […]
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June 1, 2009
June 1, 2009
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About Social Workers . . . :-@

I have a confession to make:  In the three years I spent dealing with “the system,” I developed an aversion to social workers. I don’t hate them — it’s never a good idea to write off whole classes of people. But during the time we fostered our kids, the vast majority of those we encountered were either burned out (and useless) or inexperienced and as clueless as we were, though they had a tendency to talk to me and Craig as though we were not-quite-bright children.  Foster parenting is hard enough without feeling like part of the problem to be “managed.” I once walked out of an agency training because the social worker […]
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March 23, 2009
March 23, 2009
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Miracle Mondays: “Paper Sack Kids” by Brenda K.

Last November “Grandma K” got in touch with me regarding my “Best Books for Foster and Adoptive Families” at “Mommy Monsters.” She had a book she thought my readers might enjoy, called Paper Sack Kids. It tells the stories of some of the kids who have come through the home of her sister Diane, who with her husband Rex have touched the lives of foster children for more than thirty years. In one fell swoop, the gray-haired woman opened her door, the passenger door behind her, and the trunk lid. There were no “hellos,” “sure is warm out, isn’t it?” nor any mention of how cute the new batch of […]
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September 18, 2008
September 18, 2008
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“It is in love that we are made” (National Catholic Register)

I was grieved and not a little aggravated to read this article in the National Catholic Register today. If I hadn’t read it with my own eyes, I would never have imagined that a respected Catholic publication such as NCR would permit such a blatant attack on what is at the heart a truly pro-life issue. As I’ve often said, adoption is never God’s first choice for a child. He intended children to be raised in the loving embrace of a man and woman joined for life in the sacrament of matrimony. When that bond is broken, yes the child suffers. So do the parents. And yet, […]
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August 4, 2008
August 4, 2008
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EMN Carnival #1: Tea Time!

I wanted this, our first Carnival, to be a friendly introduction to the women you’ll be hearing from now and again through EMN. We’re just getting started, and I’m hoping this time next month there are many more entries for you to peruse. But for now, just pour yourself a favorite cuppa, and “come and see.” (This is a picture of my favorite teapot … just ignore the tree!)
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July 18, 2008
July 18, 2008
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Foster Care by State

Today I came across this useful state-by-state guide, compiled by foster care and adoption expert Carrie Craft. Carrie has a wealth of information for parents who are considering foster care or foster-adoption. If you have ever considered opening your home to one of the 500,000 children in the U.S. in need of temporary or permanent homes, this is a great place to start!
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