July 23, 2019
July 23, 2019
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Dancing with a Porcupine: Essential Reading for Foster and Adoptive Parents

If you are even thinking of becoming a foster parent, you need to read this book. Like many people who decide to become foster parents, Jennie Owens and her husband, Lynn, were confident that love would conquer all. The trauma. The anger. The pain and loss experienced by every member of the family. And like many such couples, they never knew what hit them. The isolation. The bone-chilling fatigue. The mental strain. Most of all, the unrelenting inner refraing that keeps on and on: Am-I-going-crazy? I wish I had had this book fifteen years ago, when I needed to have someone explain to me why self-care […]
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January 22, 2012
January 22, 2012
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A Healing Moment at Mass

At St. Joseph’s in Downingtown PA, those who show up five minutes late (or even, some Sundays, right on time) may not get a seat. When I was teaching CCD, this wasn’t really a problem; there was always plenty of time between class and Mass to install ourselves in our favorite pew. Then, a few weeks ago, a shadow fell over our house. We have been deliberately vague on the details with people; suffice it to say that when we adopted our children from foster care, we never imagined just how far-reaching the past might be. At the advice of our pastor and other experts, we made a plan […]
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February 16, 2011
February 16, 2011
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The Woman in the Mirror

Today I’d like to reprise a few thoughts from my early days of foster care, in gratitude for the new friends I made today who are interested in becoming foster parents — even after I hinted that it could be JUST a bit more challenging than they thought when  they first looked into it! Foster parenting is tough. There’s really no getting around it. Unlike biological parenting, in which the mother gets to experience labor before delivery, with foster parenting (and adoption), the labor takes place AFTER the delivery. And it can be every bit as messy, painful, and embarrassing. But then — it can […]
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June 1, 2009
June 1, 2009
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About Social Workers . . . :-@

I have a confession to make:  In the three years I spent dealing with “the system,” I developed an aversion to social workers. I don’t hate them — it’s never a good idea to write off whole classes of people. But during the time we fostered our kids, the vast majority of those we encountered were either burned out (and useless) or inexperienced and as clueless as we were, though they had a tendency to talk to me and Craig as though we were not-quite-bright children.  Foster parenting is hard enough without feeling like part of the problem to be “managed.” I once walked out of an agency training because the social worker […]
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April 26, 2009
April 26, 2009
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Miracle Mondays: Disdain or Mercy?

Normally for this feature I look for the story of an inspiring mother, who loved despite all the odds. This week I think I found a keeper. Thanks, Sylvia. Disdain or Mercy? I’d also like to thank Mighty Mom for passing on this story of a truly Extraordinary Dad, Ed Freeman, a military hero who recently passed away at the age of 80. At least thirty men survived the Vietnam War because of his courage under fire.  On behalf of both these men — Sylvia’s cousin and Mr. Freeman — I’d like to offer the following. Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, And may your perpetual […]
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