February 10, 2022
February 10, 2022
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Joy in the Muck…

This week the 50+ year old septic field at the cabin gave up the ghost, and we discovered the hard way exactly what happens to septic tanks when a forest grows up around it. Tree roots, as it turns out, LOVE septic tanks. Not reciprocated, of course… but at least now we know how to get our plumbing speaking to us again. So I’m a happy camper. As we were going through all this, a friend texted to let me know that her job interview did not pan out. It has been a hard road for her, and my heart went out to her because […]
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December 24, 2021
December 24, 2021
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2021: The Year in Review

A year ago today, as you see from this photo, we were cozied up at the cabin in East Jordan, Michigan. The snow outside the window sparkled, and through the fir trees you could just make out Lake Charlevoix. I’ve always dreamed of living by a lake, and though I couldn’t exactly dive in from my back deck (who am I kidding, I’d never just dive into a lake because I’m afraid of fish), it was a lovely sight. The fire roared and crackled. The kids had their mouths full, so they weren’t bickering. The dogs were splayed on the rug, exhausted from an earlier […]
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April 26, 2021
April 26, 2021
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Things that go “ring” in the night.

“Mom?!”  Bleary-eyed, I took my cell away from my face long enough to see the time. It was 4:15 in the morning. My heart leaped in my throat. “Christopher? Are you okay? Are you at work?” He had just started a new job, working 4:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., Fridays through Sundays, at a bottle manufacturer about 40 minutes from our house. Although I had initial reservations about him driving that far, at that time of day, Craig and I agreed that it was time for him to start making adult choices. And so far, he seemed to be doing well. Now he was in […]
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June 12, 2019
June 12, 2019
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If You Give a Mom a Cookie …

(With a thankful nod to Laura Numeroff.) If you give a mom a cookie, she will sit in a chair and try to eat it in peace. As soon as she sits, she will look in the kitchen and see Ravenous Teen left the milk on the counter. Again. So she sets her cookie on the table and goes to the kitchen … Where for the next ten minutes she wipes counters, empties dishwasher, and puts dinner in the crock pot. And, yes, gets herself a glass of milk. With a shot of Bailey’s. The scent of Bailey’s inexplicably reminds her that she left of […]
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December 27, 2017
December 27, 2017
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Tips for Caring for Parent with Dementia

If you give Mom a cookie … She’ll want another one to go with it. Some days, that’s her idea of a balanced diet: one cookie in each hand. Not always, though. Most days she’s pretty careful to eat and drink like someone with a history of diabetes. But some days, dementia wins and the child in her comes out to play. I’ve decided that caregiving for someone with dementia is a lot like parenting a toddler. Some differences, of course … I would always want to treat her like the adult she is, and give her as much say in the details of her […]
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November 13, 2016
November 13, 2016
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Filling up the “Love Banks”

Do you have a child who has sensory issues or who for other reasons does not always respond positively to hugs or other normal signs of parental affection? This is very common in foster and adoptive families as well. At the “Refresh” conference in Chicago this weekend, I shared one idea that has worked well for us — we call it “Filling up the Love Banks.” It allows the child to communicate the kind of touch (and the duration) he or she needs to the parent in a way that respects boundaries and makes the child feel safe and loved. When I sense that Sarah (or […]
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September 9, 2012
September 9, 2012
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Not-Quite-Silent Motherhood: A Miracle in Our Midst

One of my favorite ways to engage the Gospel is to imagine that I am a peripheral character in the story. In this week’s Gospel, for example,  we encounter a man who is both deaf and has a speech impediment, who is brought to Jesus for healing. We read: He [Jesus] took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man’s ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, “Ephphatha!”– that is, “Be opened!” — And immediately the man’s ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he […]
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June 7, 2011
June 7, 2011
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“Children’s Liturgy” During Mass?

This morning I received a note from a woman who belongs to a parish in which the parents would like to form a “children’s liturgy” for young children who have trouble paying attention at Mass.  I recently came across this informative article explaining the basis for such a practice, in particular affirming the legitimacy of such a practice: http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=1999     Not all parents will want to participate in this.  Some believe their children’s place is in the pew with them, learning reverent behavior by witnessing the participation of adults. And because parents are to be the first and most important educators of their children, this is absolutely […]
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May 30, 2010
May 30, 2010
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“A Time to Remember, A Time to Forget”

Five years today. That’s how long we’ve been a family. Time to mix up a batch of my pasta salad and hit the beach! (In our case, it will be Lake Michigan — we spent the weekend at Craig’s parents’ cabin in East Jordan.) Looking back over pictures from the first months together, I realize just how much the kids have grown. The “baby” has lost her chubby knees; our son bears only the slightest resemblance to the wild-eyed child who used to camp out under tables. They are taller, yes — but they are also more confident of their place in this world. The […]
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