December 4, 2008
December 4, 2008
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Sneak Preview: An Adoption Story

NOTE: I am making edits on an article on Catholic Exchange, which I hope will run next week. In the meantime, I thought it prudent to offer a bit more information on my own background, as well as clarify my position on some aspects of the “front end” of adoption. I also wanted to take this opportunity to direct my regular readers to an important resource for women in crisis pregnancies and those considering open adoption, a book entitled “Because I Loved You,” which I have reviewed at the end of this article. I would like to thank Patricia Dischler and others who have taken time to help me “fill in the […]
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December 2, 2008
December 2, 2008
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Advent(ures) of the Fuzzy Kind

This weekend we welcomed a new member to the family … a six-week-old Australian Shepherd Christopher named Maddy. (This is the picture that induced Craig and Chris to drive halfway across the state to get her!) Like all babies, Maddy is both a lot of work and a lot of fun. Her blue eyes will turn one day, we’re told. The biggest challenge is persuading her to piddle in the snow at 3 a.m. (I can hardly blame her; I wouldn’t want to plant my delicates in the frost, either.) At 5 a.m., when I get up with her again, I sometimes encourage the process […]
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December 2, 2008
December 2, 2008
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Adoption “Unnatural”?

Hey, Al … Where’s Heidi? If you got my newsletter today, and tuned in to “Kresta in the Afternoon” wondering where I am … tune in again on Thursday! We’ll be having a lively discussion about EMN and adoption at 3:00 EST. Don’t have Catholic radio in your neighborhood? Just listen in by computer by clicking here! This afternoon I was also on Lisa Hendey’s “Catholic Moments” podcast. Right after the podcast, Lisa was leaving to attend the funeral of an eighteen-year-old boy, Russell, who was in a skateboarding accident last year, and finally succumbed to his injuries. Please pray for the soul of this young […]
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November 14, 2008
November 14, 2008
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Anti-Adoption? Review of “The Adoption Mystique” by Joanne Wolf Small, MSW

  My article “Anti-Adoption Advocacy: How Should We Respond?” drew a wide variety of responses. The ones that gave me the greatest pause came from those I mentioned in the article as being against adoption, who wrote to protest.   According to co-founder/executive director of Bastard Nation (B/N) Marley Greiner, “We are concerned only about the civil right of all adult adoptees to receive their obcs [original birth certificates] upon request without government interference.”  (Ironically, the most heated attacks concerning the adoption/abortion issue came from members of his organization.)  However, her comments reminded me of the complexity of the issues surrounding adoption, and that to seek […]
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November 6, 2008
November 6, 2008
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Outstanding International Adoption Websites

Today I found an international adoption website that I can’t refer specifically by name because they need to keep the blog private for the present due to the special circumstances related to their adoption. However, I wanted to share with my readers three sites that those who are seeking international adoption will find particularly helpful. I’ve saved them in the “International Adoption” blogroll. The first, “Informed Adoptions,” offers a wide variety of articles that are especially good for transracial adoption, particularly those from Guatemala. The second, “The Hague Convention Guide for Prospective Adoptive Parents” is a primer for those who want to better understand the changes […]
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November 3, 2008
November 3, 2008
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Mighty Mom Mondays: Lessons Grandma Taught Me

As is our custom here at EMN, Sarah has chimed in with her weekly post of wisdom and took this month’s EMN Carnival on extraordinary moms to a whole new level! To catch more of Mighty Mom, go to her blog “My Wonderful Life.” Thank you, Sarah!!!   My Grandma taught me … To speak softly and carry a big jar of cookies. The amount of time it takes to put on a pair of knee-highs and keds is exactly equal to the amount of time it takes to start a conversation that’ll last all day. There is never any reason to be jealous, for you will […]
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November 1, 2008
November 1, 2008
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Playground Politics: Conflict Evasion for Kids

Foster kids often have deep-rooted feelings of “I’m on my own, gotta take care of myself” that do not resolve themselves easily. Some kids manifest these feelings with aggression and bullying; others withdraw and become extremely passive, fearful to stand up for themselves. My children are on the two ends of this spectrum — even five years later. Sarah tends to respond to new situations with suspicion, and hates it when she feels people are looking at her. She gets downright ornery — and sometimes aggressive, kicking or striking out. With Sarah, I’ve tried to coach her to make friends by smiling and saying hello, instead […]
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October 30, 2008
October 30, 2008
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Bad Endings: When Choices Break Our Hearts

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about choices. The ones we make (and wish we hadn’t); the ones we didn’t (but wish we had). The ones that hurt no one but ourselves … and those with far-reaching consequences that hurt the least deserving. For example, “Orphans Hope” reports that if all the parentless children of the world stood shoulder to shoulder, they would circumnavigate the globe three times. (In most cases parents do not choose to leave behind young children — these choices are more complex and indirect, in the form of cultural and global indifference, complacency, and greed.) Happily, many couples are responding to this overwhelming need by stretching the borders of their families, […]
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October 29, 2008
October 29, 2008
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First the IEP … Then What?

Today I stumbled on this “Hands and Voices” article by Karen Putz about what you need to do after your child’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) is drawn up. “It’s time to bring out the bottle of champagne, right? Not quite! In effect, your work has just begun.” Written from the perspective of a deaf parent of a dead/hard-of-hearing child, the information is easily applied to children with other challenges. In a nutshell: Implementation is as important as preparation.  Check out Karen’t blog “A Deaf Mom Shares Her World.”
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