Adoption - Life on the Road Less Traveled

November 14, 2008

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Anti-Adoption? Review of “The Adoption Mystique” by Joanne Wolf Small, MSW

My article “Anti-Adoption Advocacy: How Should We Respond?” drew a wide variety of responses. The ones that gave me the greatest pause came from those I mentioned in the article as being against adoption, who wrote to protest. According to co-founder/executive director of Bastard Nation (B/N) Marley Greiner, “We are concerned only about the civil right of all adult adoptees to receive their obcs [original birth certificates] upon request without government interference.” (Ironically, the most heated attacks concerning the adoption/abortion issue came from members of his organization.) However, her comments reminded me of the complexity of the issues surrounding adoption, and that to seek […]

November 11, 2008

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Adoption

One Voice of Adoption: A Grown Adoptee (Almost) Speaks

As a foster-adoptive parent, I naturally have strong views about adoption. And yet, I am the first to agree that adoption is not an easy fix. Each adoption has at least three sides: that of the birth/first parent, that of the adoptive parent, and that of the adoptee. The circumstances that lead to adoption, the adoption itself, and the afteraffects of this choice are very different from one family to the next. In recent months I’ve become increasingly aware of the anti-adoption sentiment that is becoming increasingly common even in pro-life circles. Today at Catholic Exchange I have posted an article about this. Check it out. The trend I find […]

November 6, 2008

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Outstanding International Adoption Websites

Today I found an international adoption website that I can’t refer specifically by name because they need to keep the blog private for the present due to the special circumstances related to their adoption. However, I wanted to share with my readers three sites that those who are seeking international adoption will find particularly helpful. I’ve saved them in the “International Adoption” blogroll. The first, “Informed Adoptions,” offers a wide variety of articles that are especially good for transracial adoption, particularly those from Guatemala. The second, “The Hague Convention Guide for Prospective Adoptive Parents” is a primer for those who want to better understand the changes […]

November 1, 2008

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Playground Politics: Conflict Evasion for Kids

Foster kids often have deep-rooted feelings of “I’m on my own, gotta take care of myself” that do not resolve themselves easily. Some kids manifest these feelings with aggression and bullying; others withdraw and become extremely passive, fearful to stand up for themselves. My children are on the two ends of this spectrum — even five years later. Sarah tends to respond to new situations with suspicion, and hates it when she feels people are looking at her. She gets downright ornery — and sometimes aggressive, kicking or striking out. With Sarah, I’ve tried to coach her to make friends by smiling and saying hello, instead […]

October 30, 2008

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Bad Endings: When Choices Break Our Hearts

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about choices. The ones we make (and wish we hadn’t); the ones we didn’t (but wish we had). The ones that hurt no one but ourselves … and those with far-reaching consequences that hurt the least deserving. For example, “Orphans Hope” reports that if all the parentless children of the world stood shoulder to shoulder, they would circumnavigate the globe three times. (In most cases parents do not choose to leave behind young children — these choices are more complex and indirect, in the form of cultural and global indifference, complacency, and greed.) Happily, many couples are responding to this overwhelming need by stretching the borders of their families, […]

October 10, 2008

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Should We Consider Foster Care or Foster-Adoption?

Check out my article today at Catholic Exchange, and decide for yourself! WIth 500,000 children currently in need of temporary or permanent homes … TODAY, Christians who want to affirm the dignity and value of human life from conception to natural death can do no better than to open their hearts and homes to a child. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how rich. The other day at the Post-Gazette I read this heartwarming story of a couple who has been fostering kids for 35 years! You don’t have to be a homeowner, or have a lot of money (foster kids come with their […]

September 18, 2008

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“It is in love that we are made” (National Catholic Register)

I was grieved and not a little aggravated to read this article in the National Catholic Register today. If I hadn’t read it with my own eyes, I would never have imagined that a respected Catholic publication such as NCR would permit such a blatant attack on what is at the heart a truly pro-life issue. As I’ve often said, adoption is never God’s first choice for a child. He intended children to be raised in the loving embrace of a man and woman joined for life in the sacrament of matrimony. When that bond is broken, yes the child suffers. So do the parents. And yet, […]

September 7, 2008

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Lorraine Hartsook: An Extraordinary Mom

Lorraine Hartsook is an extraordinary woman by any measure — adoptive mother, recording artist, speaker, and grandmother-to-be. She has a voice like Patsy Cline … and a heart for hurting souls. I met Lorraine at a meeting of Catholic authors and speakers hosted by Stan Williams last spring, and was immediately struck by her compassion for and desire to serve women who feel “stuck” in the past and who need to experience the love of Jesus. Today I’d like to share one of Lorraine’s songs with you: Lorraine Hartsook – Bring That Child to Me, from her album “Embrace the Cross.” You can order the […]

August 18, 2008

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Post-assault pregnancy: Is abortion the answer?

A woman who has been sexually assaulted deals with a range of physical and emotional repercussions that are difficult to imagine unless you’ve been there. Helplessness. Shame. Rage. Fear. For many, there is also a sense of incredulity. How could this have happened? Why me … and why him? Why didn’t God stop it? When will I feel safe again? And then, some discover there is one more horror in store: PREGNANT. His actions toward you were as far from loving as they could possibly be. The question is: What do you do now?