March 2, 2009
March 2, 2009
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Miracle Monday: The Blessing of Adoption by Judy Miller

At one time or other, all adoptive parents wonder (sometimes only to themselves) whether the love they feel for the child they’ve adopted is the same kind of love other parents feel for their (biological) children. According to Judy … it is! I was delighted that she was willing to share her first impressions of her international adoption experience with us. Thanks, Judy! I am one of those – one of the thousands, perhaps tens or hundred of thousands of parents, who feel that their child was destined to be with them. In the deepest recesses of my being I am convinced that my children […]
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February 28, 2009
February 28, 2009
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Family You Don’t Get to Pick

What does it take for an adoptive triad to form a successfully integrated family unit? Is it even possible? I have one friend, who is both a birth mother and an adoptee, who has the gift of a truly integrated extended family. However, I can also point to six other triads I know personally that have not been able to manage this for a variety of reasons, from lack of information about birth parents, to unwillingess of birth parent to have contact, to addiction or mental/emotional stability issues making it impossible to sustain contact. What do you think are the keys to building a healthy (and, hopefully, happy) integrated family?
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February 18, 2009
February 18, 2009
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Mandatory Release vs. Mutual Consent: New Report from NCA

Today I received a link to this recent report from the National Council for Adoption, refuting the findings of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute with regard to open records, in particular the notion that adult adopted persons should have automatic access to the identities of their birthparents. This is a difficult — and hotly debated — issue.   I’ve touched upon the subject here and elsewhere in the past, and have no desire to rehash the arguments at this time (those who are unfamiliar with the arguments in favor of mandatory open records will find them summarized nicely in this report).  However, there was one […]
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January 29, 2009
January 29, 2009
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“Who is my mother?”

One of my children’s favorite books is a Dr. Seuss classic, Are You My Mother?  The little bird pops out of his shell moments after his mother goes off in search of a tasty worm to feed her baby, and sets off on an arduous journey to find his mother: dog, cow, plane, and finally “SNORT.” Ironically, it the creature most unlike the bird that gets the baby back to the nest, where he is reunited with the mother bird where (presumably) a happy ending was had by all. The thing is, a mother is not a machine. The bond she forms with her child (and her child with her) […]
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January 20, 2009
January 20, 2009
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Special NCFA Report Recommends Teaching Adoption in Schools

With the rate of teenage pregnancy going up again for the first time in fifteen years, the recent release of this special report from the National Council for Adoption is especially timely. This NCFA report identifies a critical improvement needed in public school health and sex-ed classes: Educating teens about adoption as a positive outcome for crisis pregnancies. Right now, just four states — Virginia, Utah, Michigan, and Louisiana — have legislation that mandates adoption awareness for public school “reproductive health/sexual education” programs (either mandated or voluntary). However, NCFA reports that studies have shown “four years after the birth of their children, those who had made adoption placements had […]
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January 14, 2009
January 14, 2009
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An Adoption Story: Guest Post from “JoJo”

Today I received a comment from JoJo, an adult South Korean adoptee. JoJo sent me a link to this beautiful tribute, written to honor both his families. What struck me most was the warmth and acceptance that JoJo expresses for the Korean woman who was his first mother — and the gratitude for BOTH his families who sacrificed to give JoJo a good life. If you’ve ever considered international adoption, be sure to check it out.
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January 11, 2009
January 11, 2009
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Favorite Adoption/Foster Articles

Are you thinking about foster care or adoption, and wondering how it will affect your life? Do you just want to read some articles about other people who have done it … and survived? Here are a few of the articles that you may appreciate! “Should We Consider Adoption or Foster Care?” “40 Reasons We’d Do It Again: Thoughts on Adoption” “Mommy, Why Does She Look Weird?” “Marriage and the Single Mom: Some Thoughts” “Day in the Life of a Foster Mom” “Little Good-byes: When Adoption Fails and Other Nightmares for Extraordinary Moms”  (This one is preceded by a poem I wrote entitled “Forever Families” […]
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