May 12, 2018
May 12, 2018
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Adoption, 10 Years Later: Letter to My New Mom Self

This year Christopher turns 18, and is reconnecting with some of his birth family, so it seems like the right time to get a little retrospective. (If that’s the right word.) Pour yourself a cup of tea and meander with me to 2015. Next weekend we celebrate a decade of “official” family life. Ten years since the adoptions were finalized and the kids were officially welcomed into the family . . . and baptized into God’s. We plan to go to Cedar Point with their godparents, to celebrate. This weekend, though, as Sarah and I sit in the living room — her painting designs on her […]
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April 16, 2009
April 16, 2009
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Adoption Tip: Connect Virtually with Your Child’s Mother

The other day I came across this extraordinary website that I wanted to share with all those out there who want more than anything to connect with the mother of your future child. Thanks to the miracle of new media, there are more options than ever to get the word out about your desire for family. If you are interested in domestic adoption, this is an option you should seriously consider. Remember, though … a website is only as good as it is effective in making connections. Put your URL out there every way you can think of. That is every bit as important as […]
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December 4, 2008
December 4, 2008
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Sneak Preview: An Adoption Story

NOTE: I am making edits on an article on Catholic Exchange, which I hope will run next week. In the meantime, I thought it prudent to offer a bit more information on my own background, as well as clarify my position on some aspects of the “front end” of adoption. I also wanted to take this opportunity to direct my regular readers to an important resource for women in crisis pregnancies and those considering open adoption, a book entitled “Because I Loved You,” which I have reviewed at the end of this article. I would like to thank Patricia Dischler and others who have taken time to help me “fill in the […]
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December 2, 2008
December 2, 2008
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Adoption “Unnatural”?

Hey, Al … Where’s Heidi? If you got my newsletter today, and tuned in to “Kresta in the Afternoon” wondering where I am … tune in again on Thursday! We’ll be having a lively discussion about EMN and adoption at 3:00 EST. Don’t have Catholic radio in your neighborhood? Just listen in by computer by clicking here! This afternoon I was also on Lisa Hendey’s “Catholic Moments” podcast. Right after the podcast, Lisa was leaving to attend the funeral of an eighteen-year-old boy, Russell, who was in a skateboarding accident last year, and finally succumbed to his injuries. Please pray for the soul of this young […]
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November 15, 2008
November 15, 2008
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John Paul II and National Adoption Month!

“Adopting children, regarding and treating them as one’s own children, means recognizing that the relationship between parents and children is not measured only by genetic standards. Procreative love is first and foremost a gift of self. There is a form of ‘procreation’ which occurs through acceptance, concern and devotion. The resulting relationship is so intimate and enduring that it is in no way inferior to one based on a biological connection. When this is also juridically protected, as it is in adoption, in a family united by the stable bond of marriage, it assures the child that peaceful atmosphere and that paternal and maternal love […]
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November 14, 2008
November 14, 2008
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Anti-Adoption? Review of “The Adoption Mystique” by Joanne Wolf Small, MSW

  My article “Anti-Adoption Advocacy: How Should We Respond?” drew a wide variety of responses. The ones that gave me the greatest pause came from those I mentioned in the article as being against adoption, who wrote to protest.   According to co-founder/executive director of Bastard Nation (B/N) Marley Greiner, “We are concerned only about the civil right of all adult adoptees to receive their obcs [original birth certificates] upon request without government interference.”  (Ironically, the most heated attacks concerning the adoption/abortion issue came from members of his organization.)  However, her comments reminded me of the complexity of the issues surrounding adoption, and that to seek […]
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May 9, 2008
May 9, 2008
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“Don’t Be Weird, Mom!”

(This is a continuation of the series of articles reflecting on Come Be My Light and the spiritual motherhood of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, patron of adoptive and foster families, which I began earlier this year. For the original post, click the title.) Sarah is an extraordinary walking paradox. She will parade around the house (and in public as often as I let her) with a mind-blowing array of fashion statements: I applaud her budding confidence (insofar as it does not exceed the bounds of propriety). What puzzles me is that if I do anything the least bit unconventional … breaking into an impromptu […]
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May 6, 2008
May 6, 2008
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Has Your Child Been Abused?

It’s a sad reality of life that many of the children who go into the foster care system have been exposed to horrific kinds of abuse and neglect. In some cases, the abuse is “passive” — such as being allowed to see pornography on television. In many cases, however, the abuse takes far more sinister forms. Children who have been abused have scars that make them vulnerable to subsequent abuse. So sorting out the real threats from the fears is very important, and often requires the help of a trained professional. However, it is usually the parent (adoptive or foster parents included) who first see […]
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March 27, 2008
March 27, 2008
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“Learning to Love”: A story of hope for children with attachment disorders

This month (April 2008) in Reader’s Digest, Vince Beiser tells the story of the Solomon family, who adopted seven-year-old Daniel from an orphanage in Romania — and months later found themselves parenting an angry, violent, and broken little boy. It took him some time to discover what he had been missing in the institution … what it meant to have a family, and parents who loved him. And when that realization hit him, he lashed out at Heidi Solomon, the woman who had adopted him. She had not given birth to him, had not abandoned him — but she was the most convenient target, and […]
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