Dear Teacher: We have decided to remove our son from your preschool program. We had hoped a little structured classroom experience would help to prepare him for kindergarten next fall. However, it seems that we overestimated his readiness, and have decided to find a program more suited to an active child. Before we go, however, I wanted to say, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry that, unlike the other little lambs in your program, he spent so much time shooting imaginary lasers and playing “Superheroes” with the other boys. My son must have stronger leadership qualities than I’d realized, to get the other boys to run around […]

Today I was awakened by the sensation of a small child poking me in the eye and inquiring in a loud stage whisper: “Mommy, you awake?” Sadly, I was, after less than three hours of sleep, thanks to my paper writing procrastination skills. At least I got it done. In lieu of writing said paper, yesterday I made the first batch of fudge of the season. It’s my friend Kimberly’s recipe, which she taught me to make when we were both at what I affectionately call “the convent.” In reality, it was just a REALLY conservative Bible college. Kimberly was one of those girls that guys […]

One morning when you least expect it, you’ll look in the mirror and find it looking back at you. The phantasm bears a slight resemblance to your familiar self, except… Is it possible that your husband installed a trick mirror while you were dozing, just for kicks? This gal has… Eyes bloodshot from getting up every two hours with one toddler’s night terrors and the other’s asthma attacks. Stomach is rumbling from not eating a decent meal since… What is this? May? Throat is raw from screaming like a fishwife, just to hear yourself above the din. In the same set of sweats you’ve worn […]