One Voice of Adoption: A Grown Adoptee (Almost) Speaks

As a foster-adoptive parent, I naturally have strong views about adoption. And yet, I am the first to agree that adoption is not an easy fix. Each adoption has at least three sides: that of the birth/first parent, that of the adoptive parent, and that of the adoptee.  The circumstances that lead to adoption, the adoption itself, and the afteraffects of this choice are very different from one family to the next.

In recent months I’ve become increasingly aware of the anti-adoption sentiment that is becoming increasingly common even in pro-life circles. Today at Catholic Exchange I have posted an article about this. Check it out.

The trend I find most heart-breaking is the number of grown adoptees who are finding it difficult if not impossible to come to terms with the loss of their first parents, and who find themselves stuck in their grief. In The Adoption Mystique, the author refers to this as mourning the loss of the “phantom parent.” I write about this at Mommy Monsters.

As of today (November 12, 2008), the original post that appeared in this space has been deleted. It was the testimony I received from an adult adoptee, born in Taiwan and adopted by an American couple. I had invited her to guest post here at EMN … and when she responded with her story I believed that she had intended that to BE the post.  When I informed her that it was going to be run with the comments turned off, she asked me to include a link to her blog.

Now she says she had intended the story to be “private,” and that I would post only a short summary of it. So … I’ve removed the story here. It’s too bad, because I think some of my readers would have learned a great deal from her experience. 

God bless you!